Speeches, Poems and Tributes
"Speeches, poems and tributes" will be a home for writings by members
of the Yale class of 1965. The idea is to make it a home for words that
were written to be shared with classmates. So when one of us gives a
speech at a class dinner, writes a tribute to another classmate, or
writes a poem or essay that relates to one or all of us, this is where
it can go. We're inaugurating the page, if that's the word for it, with
the talk Ron Wilmore delivered at our class dinner on October 27. Also,
following the text of Ron's speech you'll find "Passing," a poem in
honor of our fallen classmates, past and future. I suppose that means
all of us. The poem's composition, however, was motivated by the sudden
and tragic death of Carter LaPrade, who exemplified the idea of
honoring our ties to one another.
-- John Schenck
YALE CLASS OF 1965 SPEECH
by Ron Wilmore
At last year’s Class Dinner, as I listened to Steve Clark share some of
his most personal information with us and knowing what a powerful
impact his sharing was having on me, I began to look around the room
and realize that my classmates and I were beginning to near the
twilight years of our abilities to impact positively on the lives of my
fellow black Americans. This reality troubled me greatly. Then,
however, I fought that sinking feeling of time is running out with the
awareness that my classmates’ children such as those of Mel, Herb,
Stan, and Burt to name a few of you were now in place to take over from
their parents to continue to make America a place where blacks would
someday be able to compete on a more level playing field. The more I
thought about this, the more I felt the urgency to talk to you about
what I perceive as the struggle for black Americans to achieve full
status as long time citizens of this great country. So on the advice of
Carter, I approached Bob Leich to ask if I could be this year’s speaker
even though speakers for the next two years had been lined up. Due to
my numerous health issues, I worried about waiting until 2008 to share
my concerns and ideas with you. To his credit, Bob was able to arrange
it so that I could be standing here tonight to dialogue with you. I
thank him for making this opportunity to speak to you possible.
Needless to say, I have put a great deal of thought into what I want to
say to you. Based on my 63 years of experience being black in America,
I truly believe that most of my Yale classmates do not understand
how difficult it is to be black in this country. I also have grown to
believe that the history of black oppression in this country is not a
priority in the daily thinking of my classmates and certainly not in
the thinking of the overwhelming majority of non-black people. My
people have been ignored, stereotyped, and made, as Ralph Ellison so
eloquently stated in his powerful novel, Invisible Man, invisible
because America is far too nervous and ashamed to face up to what it
has done to black people for almost 400 years - to be exact 387 years
from 1619 to 2006. On the other hand, my people have not been able to
ignore white America because their very existence depended on knowing
as much about those in power as they possibly could. One of the
advantages of being in power is that one does not have to spend time
understanding the powerless as long as they fear or respect the
powerful. Therefore, operating on the premise that there is most likely
an information deficit on the part of my powerful Yale classmates and
my less powerful black brothers and sisters, I am here tonight to share
some thoughts about the history of black oppression in America and what
it is like to grow up under that reality and survive as a reasonably
functioning people.
Tonight I will talk about three time periods. The first time period
will be the first 335 years of blacks in America from 1619 to the
middle of the twentieth century which is approximately 19 generations
of indentured servitude, slavery, and segregation. The second time
period will be the approximately two and a half generations of
opportunity that followed legal segregation, starting with the 1954
Supreme Court decision in Brown versus the Board of Education of
Topeka, Kansas, which declared public school segregation
unconstitutional, the Civil Rights Act of 1964, which made public
accommodations for minorities more accessible, and the Civil Rights Act
of 1965, which made voting rights more accessible for minorities. And
the third time period of discussion will be how race consciousness
impacted on my life both positively and negatively and how it shaped me
into the person I am today.
Let me say at this point to please feel free to ask questions at any
time during my presentation. All questions will be answered as honestly
as I possibly can.
All of us have read about slavery in our many years of formal education
and in our equally valuable informal education. Until I got to Yale,
however, I had no clue how brutal and inhumane American slavery really
was, but thanks to my two senior seminars in my American Studies major,
Negroes in America and The United States Supreme Court, I began my
discovery of the viciousness of slavery, and over the years since Yale,
I have learned even more and more about how horrible it was through
mine and Sandy’s extensive reading on the subject. Starting with the
humiliating capture in Africa, then the hundreds of miles of marching
to the west coast where they were then forced onto ships and stacked on
their backs row upon row to maximize the amount of space on the ships.
During this so-called Middle Passage, they often had no opportunity to
stand and stretch their limbs for weeks and sometimes several months at
a time and where the slave ship investors considered it a financial
success if only fifty percent of the Africans died on the trip.
Historians estimate that up to 10 million African men, women, and
children died during the Middle Passage from diseases, from murder, and
from suicide. Then there was the breaking in period when the ships
landed, especially in the West Indies where members from different
tribes were mixed together on purpose so that they could not speak a
common language and plot to escape and where every method known to man
was utilized to break the spirits of the slaves so that they would
become like children and not have the emotional strength to rebel
against those who owned them. Total subservience to the master was the
goal of the breaking of the slave’s spirit. This was true even for the
slaves who were born in the states. Out of slavery came the creation of
a different way to speak English since the slaves had to learn English
the best way they could because the teaching of reading and writing was
against the law in almost all jurisdictions. I call this different
English “Black English” which is widely spoken even today, but that is
another topic that I will not discuss tonight, suffice it to say that I
have spent most of my adult life explaining why “Black English” exists.
For almost three centuries the slaves had to figure out a way to
survive this system which most historians have ranked as the most
inhumane slavery system in history due to the fact that the slaves were
not considered equally human; even the original Constitution classified
them as representing three fifths of a person. One misconception of
slavery was that it only occurred in the South, but in reality slavery
existed at some time in every colony and original state of this
country. Some of our Ivy League schools have recently acknowledged that
slave labor was used to construct some of their original buildings. At
least one of our Yale residential colleges is named after a slave
owner. As I just said, in almost every locale, it was against the law
to teach a slave to read or write; slaves could not legally marry;
parents could not legally protect their children; slaves who were
allowed non-legal marriages could not protect their spouses; slaves
could be whipped and/or severely punished within the laws of most
locales; slaves could not legally own property; freed slaves and their
children always faced the possibility of being sold back into slavery;
slaves daily faced the possibility of being sold away from their
families and friends; slaves were provided with the absolute minimum of
food and clothing, just enough to assure that they were able to work
from sun up to sun down; slaves, especially the women, had no
protection from sexual abuse from their owners and even from some of
their overseers. There are so many other horrible situations to
mention, but let me end this list of abuses by mentioning that the
courts almost unanimously sided with whites against all blacks slave or
freed, and in the infamous Dred Scott case in 1857, the Supreme Court
ruled “that no black man had any rights that a white man is to
respect.”
Given this closed and cruel society where slaves did not own their
lives or their labor, what did slaves do to survive on a day by day
basis? Both conscious and subconscious methods were utilized over the
centuries. One of the most prevalent methods of survival was the
development of childlike behavior. This behavior pleased those in
power, for they tended to fear the blacks less since children are
suppose to obey adults, but it also gave a small amount of protection
to the slaves and freedmen because childlike behavior could mask how
the slaves and freedmen truly felt about their condition and reduce
some of the negative responses of those in power as the slaves made
expected childish mistakes which could reduce the actual time spent in
backbreaking labor.
A correlation to childlike behavior was the stereotype of the stupid,
lazy, or clumsy slave. This belief allowed the slaves to take much
longer time to follow verbal work directions; it allowed them to break
farm equipment and injure mules and other farm animals used to grow
crops; and it allowed them to take a longer time to complete a task for
after all they were considered stupid, lazy, and clumsy. The more this
stereotype grew, the more the blacks were able to reduce life draining
labor for which they received no compensation whatsoever. Without
compensation, the only goal became survival. And survive they did from
1619 to the passage of the 13th Amendment to the Constitution which
abolished legal slavery. This is a truly remarkable story of survival.
Stanley Elkins, an important American historian, found many
similarities between the Nazi concentration camps and American slavery
and how they both did such negative altering of the psychological and
emotional well-being of the concentration camp inmates and the slaves
during their enslavements and long afterwards.
Unfortunately the end of legal slavery did not end the suffering of
black Americans, for in its place came the black codes and soon after
them de jure segregation which separated blacks from whites in all
southern states in almost all aspects of life and de facto segregation
in many other non-southern states. This segregation, formal and
informal, came about despite the 14th and 15th Amendments which were
supposedly adopted to help the former slaves become full citizens and
help them obtain voting rights. In the infamous Plessey versus Ferguson
case, the Supreme Court ruled that the doctrine of Separate But Equal
would be the law of the land. However, as demeaning as it was to be
legally separated from white people, the equal part of the doctrine was
seldom if ever applied. Across the board black segregated schools,
parks, hospitals, cemeteries, etc. received much less funding from the
state and local governments. Thus the doctrine became known to blacks
as Separate But Unequal.
My wife, Sandy, attended segregated schools in Anniston, Alabama where
it was common for her and her classmates to be issued damaged and out
of date books that had once been new in the white schools. Her black
teachers for many years were paid less than their fellow white
teachers. And in many black schools, twelve grades were not the norm,
but they were in the white schools.
Even our own beloved Yale was not immune from race conscious behavior.
For most of its 305 years it refused to admit black students. Not until
1969 did it allow itself to admit a fair number of black students. As
you may or may not remember, Yale admitted only four black American
students into our Class of 1965: Danny Parker, Charles Marshall, Harry
Huggins, and me, two from New Haven and two from Washington, D.C. –
four out of a class of 1,025 freshmen.
Segregation, both legal and in fact, was a conscious effort to cripple
black Americans economically, politically, and emotionally. It amazes
me to this day that over these hundreds of years my fellow black people
were able to withstand the onslaught of racism and emerge willing to
take on the challenges of opportunity that began to come with the Brown
versus the Board of Education decision and the Civil Rights Acts of
1964 and 1965. Thus blacks have had only two and a half generations of
true opportunity versus nineteen generations of terrible oppression.
Simply stated, there has not been enough time to repair the damage that
was done over three centuries. And just as there is the known condition
of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder associated with having served in
military combat, there is growing evidence of a new mental illness for
black Americans being called Post Traumatic Slavery Disorder, which is
affecting millions of black people today. This has come about because
there has never been a professional nationwide effort to deal with the
psychological damage done to the slaves and their future offspring.
Thus generation after generation has passed down to the next generation
this pattern of living and coping now being called Post Traumatic
Slavery Disorder. Nevertheless, remarkable achievements have been made
by my people despite this Disorder, BUT much more healing has to take
place. And this is why I have asked to speak to you tonight. You and
your children are in positions of power or your children will be, and
you and they can help see to it that black people in yours and their
lifetimes get a fair chance to take part in the process of attaining
the American Dream.
The large question is – “Can this attainment by my people of the
American Dream be accomplished without some kind of help other than
their own efforts?” I truly believe that despite our best efforts
racism has put most black Americans at a distinct disadvantage. And to
now ask them to compete on an equal basis when the playing field is far
from level is a real injustice. To use the running of a race as an
analogy, it is equivalent to denying the black runner training
facilities and then all of a sudden giving him or her the opportunity
to take part in a race against runners who have had access to the
finest training facilities available and then insisting that the black
runner start from the same starting point, after all is not that true
equality? In almost every case, the black runner has no chance of
competing fairly in that race. The same analogy could be used in all
competitive endeavors. The lack of so called “equal training
opportunities” for almost four centuries puts black people at a
distinct disadvantage in almost every field with the two possible
exceptions of athletics and music where blacks have been allowed more
opportunities and have added greatly to the quality of American life.
I say to those who are today opposed to affirmative action which seeks
to help deserving blacks that they do not know the true history of
their country. For if they truly opened their eyes to that history,
they would see that for nearly four hundred years there has been
affirmative action; however, it has been affirmative action for white
Americans only. When a system has been set up to give preferences to
some for whatever reasons and does not give those same preferences to
others, that is a form of affirmative action. Yet when black Americans
ask for preferences to offset centuries of discrimination, there are
those who claim this to be reversed discrimination. Why was this claim
not raised when white Americans were receiving preferences over
non-white and Jewish Americans year after year after year? The answer
to me is crystal clear.
Unfortunately there are some blacks who also criticize affirmative
action for varied reasons. I have just completed reading a book by a
black conservative writer who does not support affirmative action
because he believes that in America today talented blacks do not need
preferential treatment. I say that these blacks for the most part are
to the best of their abilities fleeing from their past because it is
too painful to deal with on a day to day basis. In other words, they
are escaping from reality or were born after the civil rights
revolution of the 1960’s and 1970’s. The best example of this type of
black person who denies reality is Clarence Thomas. My mother, when she
was alive, taught me to never hate anybody; therefore she would have
been disappointed in the hatred I have towards Clarence Thomas. Every
single advance he has ever made in his life from high school, to
college at Holy Cross, to Yale Law School, to the Equal Employment
Opportunity Commission, to his first job on Capitol Hill, to his
appointment to the United States Court of Appeals, and finally to his
appointment to the United States Supreme Court has been made possible
because of affirmative action. And for him to now publicly oppose
affirmative action is the epitome of hypocrisy and indicates some kind
of very deep seated aversion to his being black in America. The real
tragedy is that his opposition to affirmative action gives ammunition
to those who also oppose it. The reasoning can be “Well, if a black
Supreme Court Justice opposes affirmation then there has to be
something unfair about it”. In the overwhelming majority of the black
community today, his appointment to the Supreme Court ranks as one of
the saddest moments in our nation’s history. And the great irony is
that this very disappointing legal lightweight is the successor to our
beloved Justice Thurgood Marshall.
Let me now segue to how race consciousness has played a role in my
life, both positively and negatively. And let me preface this
concluding part of my talk by saying that I am one of the lucky blacks
in America, who for the most part has benefited from America’s race
consciousness. My first awareness of race came when I lived in a black
section of New Haven on Gregory Street. This section was just a block
away from the Yale campus. I remember asking my father why all the
people at Yale were white and all the people on my street and in my
neighborhood were black with the exception of one family, the
Ginsbergs. He told me that unfortunately black people were not usually
welcome in white universities or neighborhoods. Then I moved to a new
public housing community on the outskirts of New Haven, known as
Brookside Apartments which at its beginnings was a truly integrated
public housing complex. I spent the next eight years of my life
surrounded by people black and white of many different ethnicities.
Some of my closest white friendships were formed at Brookside
Apartments, and to this day they still exist. Race consciousness was
almost non existent during this period of my life until near the end of
that stage when dating became an issue. I still remember the first time
I was not invited to a party to which all of my white friends had been
invited. I was deeply hurt by being excluded, but from that day onward
I knew that there was going to be a color line that would be
potentially stressful whenever I crossed it, and I prepared myself to
deal with that newly discovered fact.
Near the end of my sixth grade year, I was approached by my teacher,
Mrs. Clark, and told that for the next year she had recommended me to a
fairly new tutoring program run by Yale University undergraduates to
prepare a small group of about eight black students a year to enter the
top prep schools in Connecticut, among them Taft, Hotchkiss, and Mount
Herman. The name of the program was the Ulysses S. Grant Scholarship
Foundation which still exists today on a much larger scale, I am happy
to report. This was my first positive experience with race
consciousness, and it set me on a path of academic excellence that very
few blacks at the time had the opportunity to pursue. A year later I
was again the recipient of positive race consciousness when I was
chosen to be the one black male student placed in an accelerated
academic class at my junior high school. The one black female was
Gwendolyn Williams with whom I still communicate to this day. Two years
later my good fortune continued when I was asked to apply for admission
to Hopkins Grammar School, one of the top country day schools in the
nation, and I was accepted. I became one of only four blacks in the
entire school, a fact that should have annoyed me, but at that time in
my life I was not mature enough to see how unfair four black
students out of 350 white students was. Overall, my three years at
Hopkins were wonderful and rewarding as I felt accepted as an equal
among my peers. However, my headmaster who truly cared about me was
unable to control his negative race consciousness which resulted in two
very egregious moments in my Hopkins career. The first happened in
1960, my junior year, when the school was celebrating its 300th year of
existence. One night before a student assembly, the headmaster called
me at home to ask me if he could use me and two classmates who were
tackles on the football team as modern day examples of the bequest of
the founder of Hopkins Grammar School, Edward Hopkins who donated one
Negro servant and 430 British pounds to start the school. I was to be
compared to the Negro servant, and my two classmates, Steve Ross and
Tom Scaramella, were to be compared to the 430 British pounds. He
thought that such a comparison would be amusing. I had my doubts and I
shared them with my mother, but at age sixteen I did not feel that I
could tell my headmaster that his planned attempt at humor was in poor
taste. So the next day in the assembly, he began his talk, and when he
came to the part where he was going to make the present day comparison,
instead of Negro servant he said “nigger slave”. Well you could have
heard a pin drop in the auditorium, and my first reaction was to make
eye contact with the other three black students in the room. But this
proved to be impossible for all three of them had dropped their heads
into there hands in shame. And my headmaster never realized what he had
said that day until about ten years later when I finally confronted him
on it. One of the three other black students was Johnny Huggins, the
son of John Huggins, who some of you remember as the permittee who ran
the Fence Club and his mother, Libby, who worked at Sterling Library. I
truly believe that Johnny never fully recovered from that moment, for
he later decided the next year to transfer to Hillhouse High School
where he did not finish, then joined the navy rather than go to
college, and then joined the Black Panther Party where he rose up in
the ranks of the Party until he was gunned down by a rival group known
as US after giving a speech at UCLA. Years later it was discovered that
the FBI had played a role in exacerbating the rivalry between the Black
Panthers and US that led to Johnny’s assassination.
The second sad moment at Hopkins of negative race conscious ignorance
occurred in my senior year. Two of my four fellow black students were
in the glee club, and a concert had been arranged with one of the
sister boarding schools. It was customary for the concert to be
preceded by a dinner with each member of the glee club being paired
with a young lady from the guest school. Well, my headmaster received a
call from the sister school saying that no young lady was willing to be
paired with Johnny Huggins or Carl Johnson. Instead of canceling the
concert immediately, he called Johnny and Carl into his office and
asked them what should he do. Of course they did not have the maturity
at their ages to tell him to cancel the concert, so he decided to let
the concert take place and have Johnny and Carl eat in the kitchen. I
was working in the kitchen that night to earn some spending money, and
I will never forget how Johnny and Carl cried throughout most of their
meal. To this day, I still do not know how they had the strength to
then sing in the concert that followed. Needless to say the black
students at Hopkins did not come through their years there without some
deep seated scars on their psyches. But somehow my scars did not have
the same negative intensity as those of Johnny and Carl for all kinds
of reasons, one major reason being the love I continuously received
from my parents, and on the whole, my years at Hopkins were very
rewarding thanks to my classmates and most of my teachers. Race
consciousness during my first 18 years of life had proven to be for the
most part advantageous to my development.
And then there was my Yale experience. I am convinced that race
consciousness played a role in my getting into Yale. There were four
significant reasons for me to be worthy of getting admitted to Yale.
One was being from New Haven; a second was going to Hopkins Grammar
School; a third was being an All-American high school football player
at running back who, by the way, still holds the Connecticut record for
seven two point conversions in a single game; and finally, I was a
black American applicant. The fact that I was only one of four black
Americans admitted to the Yale Class of 1965 makes me firmly believe
that affirmative action was greatly responsible for me becoming a proud
Yalie.
I will never forget during the first couple of days of freshman year
looking in the freshman directory and being impressed that there were
four black Americans. I should have been outraged, but before the
freshman year was over the four of us had let President Griswold know
that it was unfair for Yale to admit so few black Americans. And to
Yale’s credit, the numbers began a slow and steady increase. The Class
of 1966 had seven; the Class of 1967 had twelve; the Class of 1968 had
33; and finally the Class of 1969 admitted a fair representation of
blacks in America. Yale had finally come to grips with the abundant
numbers of qualified blacks in this country, and to this day I am proud
of Yale’s outreach to blacks and other minorities, women, and foreign
students who as a group now make up over 33% of admitted Yalies. Yale
is a much richer educational experience than when we were there because
of the diversity of the student population.
My four years at Yale were four of the best years of my pre-Sandy life.
My classes were intellectually stimulating and challenging; my athletic
career was disappointing but made me a wiser person; and my friendships
formed at Yale have been priceless. My life is so much more complete
because of friends like Mel, Herb, Peter, Stan, Marne, Barrington,
Burt, Steve, Jonathan, and my late friends Carter, Harry, Woody, and
Orde. And there are many others of you not mentioned in this talk who
also made my Yale experience so rich and wonderful. But even as rich
and wonderful as those four years were, race consciousness was always
lurking around the corner. Did it have something to do with my football
playing frustrations? Maybe. Did it help me become only the second
black fraternity brother at DKE in the entire DKE network? Yes. Did it
help me become a lifelong friend of the fourteen other members of my
senior society, Sisyphus? Yes. Was I daily aware that I and my fellow
blacks of 1965 were less than .004% of the Class? Yes. And I will never
forget the day when one of my classmates and good friend, who has since
died, made a joke about the assassination of one of my heroes, Malcolm
X, the day that Malcolm died. He had no clue how hurtful he was being
to me. As benign and even as helpful as race consciousness was during
those four years at Yale, it still took away a significant amount of my
energy – energy that could have been better directed towards maximizing
my Yale career.
All in all, however, I would have to rank my Yale experience as one of the major positive race conscious experiences in my life.
Before I go on to briefly describe how race consciousness has affected
the last 40 years of my life after Yale, let me say that I and all
other blacks had to grow up in a society where legal and de facto
segregation were the norm. In our segregated communities in the South
and in the North there were very few black doctors, lawyers, business
leaders, bus drivers, salespersons in stores, police, and in many other
jobs. There were no black major league baseball players until Jackie
Robinson came along. The same was true in professional football and
basketball and many major college sports. There were no black models in
advertising, and no black radio and television shows except the
insulting Amos and Andy Show, and almost no black movie stars. Growing
up in this white world of communication and sports and so very few role
models in the professions invariably brain washed millions and millions
of blacks, including me, into believing that somehow we were inferior
to whites, which of course was the goal of this racial oppression.
In the first third of my life how did this racial inferiority complex
express itself? One of the most debilitating expressions was the belief
in the limited future options of blacks which resulted in us not
pursuing certain careers because of the presence of entry level
discrimination and of the glass and mirror ceilings beyond which you
could not hope to advance. To this day I joke with Herb, Mel, and Stan
about what the hell does an investment banker do. Investment bankers
were not a part of my pool of role models when I was growing up as it
was for many of you.
Another subtle but insidious expression of blacks having an inferiority
complex is how over 95% of black women in America hate their hair so
much that they regularly add heat and chemicals to their hair to made
their hair more like the hair of non-black women. Many a Saturday late
afternoon growing up in New Haven did I spend in my kitchen
watching my sisters and nieces applying the hot comb and hair grease to
their hair to “straighten it”, often times burning their scalps in the
process. Why, because they said that they wanted “good hair”. This had
to mean that subconsciously they thought their natural hair was “bad
hair”. What kind of inferior complex causes so many black women to put
themselves through such self destroying behavior? I am extremely proud
of the fact that Sandy stopped mistreating her hair and embraced her
naturally curly hair way back in 1967 when we first met in New
York City and has worn her hair naturally curly ever since. She has
been a truly proud black woman ever since. It is no accident that most
of the brightest and accomplished black women that I have ever known
wear their hair in its natural state including two former members of
our own Yale Corporation, Eleanor Holmes Norton and Ruby Hearn. Being
comfortable with their natural, black beauty indicates an inner
strength that invariably helps them succeed in all facets of life and
be able to compete with people of all races.
There are many other examples of how race consciousness daily impacts
black Americans and usually in a negative way, but time does not permit
me to discuss those tonight. Reacting to negative race consciousness
certainly takes away from one’s total utilization of his or her full
potential. And this brings me to why I wanted to talk to you tonight
and share these personal insights with you. Simply stated, the playing
field is far from level. Yet I am pleased to acknowledge that
significant improvements in opportunities for black middleclass
Americans have occurred since the 1960’s. And more and more blacks of
all classes are being asked by black spokespersons to rethink their
negative and self-destructing response to the lessening racism that
unfortunately still exists in America and to re-energize their
individual roles in maximizing the opportunities that are now
available. However, people of influence and power like you and your
children still need to lend a helping hand well into the foreseeable
future, whether it be as a mentor, as a major financial contributor
like Herb, Mel, and Stan to black organizations, especially community
based organizations like my Northwest Settlement House, as a board
member of such organizations, like John Pinney, Ward Barmon, and Stan
Trotman, who are on my board at Northwest Settlement House, and equally
important, as a spokesperson for the creation of a truly honest
discussion of how race consciousness has affected black Americans for
almost 400 years and continues to do so today. A true level playing
field will hopefully someday exist only if people like you in this room
and your children insist that it happens.
Thanks for letting me share my thoughts with you tonight.
PASSING
by John Schenck
It means something different now.
Once it meant qualifying
for whatever came next.
Amassing passes
meant commencement,
a celebration.
Now when we say a friend has passed
we say it with sorrow.
We would rather see him not pass.
Not fail –
just not pass.
Some pass after long and labored struggle.
Other times, passing is sudden, shocking.
Those left back feel hurt, cheated
by the obvious unfairness.
But as grading never ends
we wonder what conclusions we should draw.
Work hard, follow rules, take statins;
lessen stress, practice Yoga;
or should we now be urgently unlearning
everything we learned to get to where we are?
And we wonder where that is, exactly.
Commencement seems a distant dream,
although we’re seniors.
To pass with honors, or at least some honor,
we must honor others:
those who’ve traveled with us in our lives
and shared themselves along the way.
How often we have tested them
with our bouts of doubt, episodes of ego,
and our follies – some of us boast
graduate degrees in folly.
For heaven’s sake let’s honor them at last.
They may pass before we do.
Imagine what we’d say if we could call them back.
Think of saying it now.
They shouldn’t have to pass
before we tell them they did well.
They will not hear our tributes
at their own commencements.